well well......

Seriously, I always question myself, "Have I done at least enough for this project? Have I done sufficient? Did I do it well? Will the rest of my group mates be at least satisfied with my work?"

Often, my answer is, "No."

I have no confidence in most of my work, and of course, it either means I really am incompetent or have absolutely no confidence in myself, well, maybe the first reason caused the second reason in a way...Geez...

I'm not one who leaves others in the lurch, that is, if you are worth it. The people I consider as friends do worth the helping hand, of course.

The thing is, if you do not raise your hand for me, how do I give you a hand? Even if I desperately want to, I wouldn't know you're drowning...

I think there's no need to keep it to yourself. If there's anything one feels that is unfair, Please, voice it out. Please do not swallow your unhappiness and be unhappy yourself. It certainly isn't a good way for most of the situations.

We might not be IT-savvy, but we definitely have conscientiousness. Knowing you're sinking, we will definitely throw the life buoy to you, or even jump in to help.

I agree totally with Winoa, all this complaining online should stop, totally.

Since we aren't any kids who can't talk reasonably with, we should express it the way we should--trash it out.

Any misunderstandings should be talked over calmly. We are not kids anymore, right? There's no more, "I don't want to 'friend' you already."

Like in my case, I did not talk to Alicia face-to-face about my discomfort towards her attitude. Instead, I wrote her a letter which you all have read.

Initially, I too, used the widely-used method, that is, writing all my unhappiness in my blog and keeping it all to myself. But I realized that isn't a good method, it would only make me even more unhappy. The best method was to directly let the other party know how you feel.

In my case, I knew I wouldn't be able to get all points across, or I would forget some points if I talk to her directly, and she'll end up quarelling with me. To prevent any quarrels, i chosed the 'best' way available at that time.

Eventually, I approached the letter method, where I could craft my words. (Ok, I didn't craft them exactly nicely, but what I wanted her to know was eventually included in the letter.)

I opened the option for feedback. Unfortunately, none came back.

She did not reply me, not even a mention of it. Everything happened so quickly that I can't really remember to whole procedure now. But the line is now clear between us. We would only cooperate when there's a project.

Classmates may be classmates, and there are classmates whom I really wish to treasure, even after we graduate. Don't you?

How nice if we could all sit down at some posh cafe with excellent ambience and talk about how stressed up we were with project stuff, talk about our lives, gossip about some others, and complain about our kids, over some supreme Latte, some 10 years later.

Isn't it great? No unhappiness, only mutual understanding. How nice...

I feel that most of us in the class have been through a lot. I was rather upset when the class was in some troubled waters last sem. Gladly, the rainbow appeared.

For example, I used to quarrel very frequently with one of my best friends. Any misunderstanding, both of us would voice our unhappiness and somehow we would start quarrelling. But after some quarrelling, there's a better understanding of each other, and our friendship becomes stronger.

My dad once told me, the working world has no compassion, once you're no longer competent, you're out. If you're not contributing, the boss would start ranting at you.

All of us have to enter this cruel society as adults one day. I am reluctant to enter that realm, but do we have a choice? Unless you choose to lead your life simply in some village, which I don't think I would till I've gotten some results and recognition in my future work. Ok, I admit, I'm rather ambitious, but I believe I'm not those kind who stop at nothing to get success.

Oops...digressing...

Anyway, I had a dream last night, which can also be included as nightmare.

I dreamt that I contracted some disease, not terminal though. The doctor in my dreams said I would be alright if I went through a series of treatment and medication. Strangely, the hospital was just opposite our school's very comfy meeting room(only in my dream). Thus naturally, I walked back to our hang-out(the DMC 2A05 meeting room in my dream). I wasn't devastated, probably because since young, I have been preparing myself that something would strike on me, especially since I have a weak constitution.

The first person i met was Ms. Kwa (yeah, our MMR lecturer), she was the first other person to know of that illness. Thereafter, she accompanied me to our meeting room to wait for the rest to come back from a tea-break.

When everyone came back, i broke the news and assured it wasn't infectious.

What's comforting in my dream was that everyone in the class gave me the support I desperately needed. Everyone gave me a comforting hug and words of comfort. I was so touched that tears just went trickling down. The atmosphere was so comfy, so cosy...

Strange dream, but definitely not a bad one.

Geez...

Well well, gotta get back to my studies...Hahaha...

Til Then...study hard peeps!!~~