The "Downs"

I know it's silly, but the "pre-birthday depression" has hit my shores again. Every year, without fail, I get these weird "down" days, and the rainy season doesn't help, it just leaves me feeling even more depressed. PMS probably chipped in too, whatever.

I hope to spend my 22nd birthday at a peaceful and quiet place this year. Probably to smooth out what 2008 had done to me. Joy? Yup, certainly. Pain and loss, definitely. Achievement, if graduating with a Bachelors of Arts count.

I just feel like having a relaxing birthday this year. Not really having a party in mind, probably just simple joy at a peaceful and beautiful place with fresh air with some of my favourite people, even one will do. Just need someone to go with me, cuz of various concerns.

Simple one.

Anyone wants to join me? My birthday falls on a Saturday (November 15, 2008) and I plan for it to be a weekend escapade.

Check out http://www.zuji.com.sg . The cheapest package is at $78. I dont have much excess money to spend too, but my "down-ness" calls for it... Gee..

My Dad says I'm full of weird ideas, and he doesn't understand why I have to spend my birthday overseas when I don't even hold a full-time job yet. Even if it sounds illogical and immature, topped with irresponsibility and childishness, so be it. "Living for the moment" sounds irresponsible, but... oh well...

I'm enjoying rotting at home when I don't have to work currently, but not with the delay of my pay for the previous month.

Just wanna look at.. the sunset...

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노을..바라보다 [Look at... the sunset]
Officially known as Picture of You in English



[ All rights reserved for this photo of the sunset.]



TRANSLATION
Credits to: qinaaax3
Taken from: http://makikawaii.wordpress.com/tag/dbsk/

After the after glow sets,
I’m going towards you,
Following the lights which turn on one by one

I’ll embrace you,
Before the cold wind makes your shoulders flinch

I love you,
The foolish you,
You’re so precious to me

As much as the sun that rises above you,
I’ll keep you safe as much as you’ve waited for me, with this glaring heart,
All the dreams I’ve prayed for,
They’re going towards you with my sincere scent
More than the air I breathe

I hope that my wishes of smiling next to you every new morning,
Will be able to come true

I’ll wait for you,
I’ll never let go of your hands,
Even if it’s only tears,
I’ll wipe them away for you

Although we are not able to see the end,
No matter how bumpy our road is,
I’ll promise you, please be mine

As much as the sun that rises above you,
I’ll keep you safe as much as you’ve waited for me, with this glaring heart,
All the dreams I’ve prayed for,
They’re going towards you with my sincere scent,
More than the air I breathe,

‘I love you’ ‘You’re the only one’,
I want to yell those words out into the sky
I love you, my heart which feels like bursting is calling out to you

No matter how many times they find us,
No matter if we can’t breathe,

Like those invisible flower-like smiles,
Which shine just like the stars,
I’ll keep you safe beautifully

As much as the sun that rises above you,
I’ll keep you safe as much as you’ve waited for me, with this glaring heart,
I love you, I love you,
You’re the most beautiful in this world,
This dream-like heart,
More than the air I breathe


Romanization of lyrics

Noul..baraboda

jonyok nouri jigo hana dul kyojinun
bulbichul taraso noege gago iso
chagaun barame umchurin ne okaega
naeryo antgi jone naega gamsajulke

nal bwa love
you babogatun gudae
gu modun goshi naegen da sojunghangol

*gudae wiro toorun taeyangmankum
nuni bushin i gasumuro
gidaryojun shiganmankum nol naega jikyojulke

gidohan modun kumi ganjolhan
nae hyanggiro nama uril hyanghae iso
More than the air I breathe
More than the air I breathe

balgaol achime hamke usul su innun
naui baraemduri irwo
jil su itdorok
naega gidarilke ne son nochi anhulke
nunmul punira haedo naega dakajulke

kuchi boiji anhado
amuri homhan giriljirado yaksokhalke
my
my my my please be mine

*Repeat

saranghandago ijen gudae punirago
jo hanul kute sorichyo jonhago shipo
love you tojildutan gasumi gu
daerul burugo iso

apun shiryoni uril chajawado
gu apume mok meowado
da orumanjyo jul su innun naega do saranghalke
tumyonghan usumkochi banjjaginun jo byol
dulchorom
arumdapge nol nomanul bichwojulke
gudae wiro toorun taeyangmankum
nuni bushin i gasumuro
gidaryojun shiganmankum nol naega jikyojulke
saranghae nol saranghae
sesang
gajang nunbushin gudae kumgyolgatun i mam

More than the air I breathe

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It's currently one of my favourite favourite favourite songs in the playlist on relentless repeat. :)

Update

Grandpa has been transferred out of the MICU! He's now in the general ward, although still in the High Dependency Unit. But it means he should have improved enough to get out of the ICU.

We went to see him last night and he seems better too. The oxygen mask routine has to continue, but it's been reduced to 2 hours of oxygen mask, then 2 hours of breathing on his own, down from the previous 3 hours of oxygen mask then 1 hour of breathing on his own. There are also at least 2 nurses always on standby in the High Dependency ward, but the surroundings are much better than in the ICU. Even visitors feel more comfortable in the general ward, knowing the patient is one step closer to recovery. The ICU is quite suffocating, psychologically. This current ward has television too, so at least grandpa can get distracted by the television when he has the oxygen mask on, cuz he really dislikes the discomfort caused by the mask. Last night while we were there, and it was time for the oxygen mask to be put on again, he told the nurse he wanted to watch the tv programme first, so the nurse delayed it a little until the show ended. But we all know Grandpa doesn't like watching chinese tv programmes, much less a chinese variety show that was being shown. Gee... The doctors are monitoring his conditon and slowly giving him less help in breathing with the oxygen mask according to his ability to breathe on his own.

Grandpa will get better soon... :)

It's a public holiday today (Oct 1) Hari Raya Puasa, as well as Children's Day. So everyone gets a rest at home, then we'll head to the hospital to visit Grandpa again.

JingYu's first big exam of his life, PSLE, is coming this Friday. Same for JinHao. JingYu's just a little distance away from being very well-prepared, though his science showed significant improvement after the months of tuition in science from me. What an irony cuz science has never been my forte. Haha.. I hope JinHao is prepared too, from the guidance of his Dad. JinCai's exams will finally be over next wednesday (Oct 8) after a battle of the exams for an entire month. Hopefully by then Grandpa would have been discharged and we'll bring the boys to visit grandpa, and have a cousins' gathering.

:)

Love,
Ching

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The above is what I just sent to my Uncle Boon, one of the many I've been writing in the past weeks.

Writing emails to my Uncle in Canada everyday has been like writing a diary. Everyday I update him about Grandpa's condition, as well as our daily lives, and my two little cousins' life. Hope to meet JinCai and JinHao soon, after the little ones' first big examinations of their lives, the PSLE. It's been quite some time since we met up, and I miss you guys.

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Graduation's this Saturday (Oct 4) at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in the afternoon. We have to be there by 10:30am for briefing and whatever else. Guests will arrive later at 12:30pm. We've had our first graduation ceremony in OCU during our stay there, of which it felt more like a fun thing than an acutal graduation cuz we hadn't really graduated, with a few subjects still uncompleted. Now that we're done with everything, and going for a real graduation, it evokes another feeling. Mixed feelings, they say. "Rojak" feelings.

Then the next day, Oct 5, I'll be flying to Hong Kong for a short trip with my lovelies. We've came out with a very detailed itinerary and I hope nothing comes in our way to disrupt it. I'm looking forward to the Giant Buddha visit, where I can pray for Grandpa's recovery. I really hope he can recover soon... or it'll be hard for me to really enjoy, worrying about him constantly. Now that his condition has improved, my hopes are climbing a little in altitude.

For now, I need to start packing...

:)