Awoken

Awoken

Sunlight shone into the room through the half-opened window, before I could differentiate the dream from reality, tears started bursting from the barely opened eyes. The sudden urge to let it all out, the ache from the gripping of the heart, the crumbling of the body, the fear of it happening, it all felt so familiar. Painfully familiar. The striking similarity of this nightmare to another I've had some years ago left the barely-clear mind blank. I was at a sudden lost, and I allowed the tears to flow the way they wanted to. The emotions were strong, so strong it surprised myself. What could have triggered this dream? This dream that reflects something I've feared the most. Here, I'm not talking about the hideous creature I've a phobia of, but of an event happening that would bring about enormous waves of grieve.

Afraid the loudness of my crying and sniffs would get to my Mum's room and awake her from her dreams, I buried my face into my turquoise satin pillow and held my bolster close, gripping my trusty sixteen year-old pillow in the other hand. The images of the dream which I categorise as the worst nightmare remained vivid in my mind and refused to disperse. I dreaded going through the happenings in the nightmare again, but I had to pull myself back to reality after crying for a good twenty minutes or so. I've never told anyone of these dreams, not even written it down or try to recall the happenings in the dream. It's just too emotionally draining. Overwhelming fear of it actually happening is enough to suffocate and send me into the dumps.

My gaze remained locked on the skies outside the window, and the glare of the sun suddenly brings me back to my senses. The brains begun functioning normally again and my grip of the pillow and bolster loosened. Slowly, I climbed out of bed and wiped the face wet with tears. "No, it didn't really happen. It was but a dream, a nightmare, in fact" I told myself silently as the eyes red and swollen from the cry earlier on stared back at me in the mirror. All of a sudden, I realised how silly I was. But the outburst was good, cuz it made me feel lighter - mentally. It's like the click of the refresh button on your computer screen. The act disposes of old information and refreshes it with new ones, ones you felt you could carry with to face a new day.

As I washed up and refreshed myself physically, the Dream Dictionary I saw on the Internet some time ago came to my mind.

I searched for the two words that best described the dream and here's what I found:



Interpretations courtesy of DreamMoods.com


In a way, what it interpreted made sense. I've been wanting for a change in a certain aspect of my life and procrastination stands in the way. Like the Dream dictionary mentioned, I've suppressed it when I was conscious, hurled and tucked at the back of my mind, but when I wasn't, I can't help but hate and reprimand myself for letting things drag. I realised the dream served as an awakening call, a call for actions and not just thoughts. I hate myself when I escape from situations I should face up to. Nevertheless, the door of the escape route left ajar is so temptingly inviting, it pulls you through it before you could think twice about distinguishing the fire ahead.

An ex-colleague once said a Scorpion knows what he/she wants strongly and would do all he/she can to achieve or attain it. Yes, it's time to make things happen. Staying static is not at all like a scorpio. Winter's long over and habination is no longer a valid excuse. With an armour for protection and pincers to attack, the scorpio is almost ready enough to take the first steps.

Wish it good luck ya!

Til then folks! Cheers, to a continuously brighter tomorrow!