The Balance

In this world, if you refuse to compromise and then think lightly of it, it'll be a torture. By saying "thinking lightly of it," I mean that one doesn't think of it as a sacrifice, but giving way to someone more important, something that might be better, something that makes everyone happy. If you think of it that way, you feel better, and everything becomes better.

For example, when you go on a trip overseas together, everyone compromises to find a date to set off, compromise on the places each person wants to go, and compromise on every other thing. But if the company is worth it, and everyone gives in some way or another, things will turn out fine.

Even simple things like deciding on a place to eat, sometimes this person gives in, another time another person gives in. It doesn't really have to be fair all the time, as long as things don't result in something bad. It's not business deals, so it doesn't have to be a fair trade all the time.

Selfishness and kindness are both in born. However, some events occur throughout one's life and change these beliefs, which then causes a change in attitude and behavior.

It's difficult to strike a balance between these two. Too much of either makes one's own life more difficult. So it's hard to blame if people can't find this center of gravity. It's just how they handle their lives. Change for the good or the worse, it's up to people to decide.

P.S: It's just some random thoughts.
Disclaimer: I don't point to specific events, just some general thoughts that can come from daily life, television shows I saw, books I've read, or websites I've seen. Random, that is. ;P

I like to people watch, and analyse people. I like studying psychology, cuz it's simply interesting. Then again, sometimes I think analyzing so many things in life is pretty tiring, why not just let things take its course in nature? Why must there be a solid plan for everything? Does a plan mean things will go the way you want them to? Of course, I'm not saying plans are useless, they are indeed very useful and of utmost importance in many areas. There, again, one just has to find the balance.

Steph said I should blog more often, to let others know what's going on in my mind cuz I don't often speak of them in person. I find typing or writing out my thoughts easier. My tongue is a little tied pretty often cuz my brains work faster than the tongue, and when I wanna say subject A, my brains are already processing the thoughts for subject B.
Okay, I will, Steph!

I was walking to Somerset towards my bus stop after I parted with Stephy at Ngee Ann City, and I saw this old man playing an instrument in the middle of the walkway as a busker. When I dropped that one dollar coin in, he paused his melody and said "Xie xie" (Thank You) to me with a bright smile, lacking some teeth. It immediately stirred a little something in me. I felt like I did something good for the day, and my mood immediately rose up the ranks, not that I was in a bad mood in the first place. But being able to help another gives a simple yet great feeling. I only wished I could do more. I love my grandparents dearly, having grown up with them, so old people on the streets having to make a living on their own makes me feel really bad. Of course, not all are out on the streets because their children are not supporting them well, I'm referring to those who do this because their children aren't doing what they can to support their parents who have painstakingly raised them up with all their might. Shame on them!

Every year, I go to Lim Chu Kang to pray to my grandfather (Dad's father) whom I've never met cuz he went to heaven even before my parents got married. I go not because I'm forced to, my parents never forced me, and they even gave me the option to stay home if I had tests or exams the next day, but I want to go. All because I felt that it's the least I could do. All grandparents like to see their grandchildren, all parents like to see their children too. Doesn't matter if they're alive or not, it's the livings' thoughts that count. Having read this, when was the last time you visited your grandparents, gave them a hug, and listened to them? Go ahead..
I gave my grandparents and parents a hug when I headed to the states, and another when I came back. Hugs are gifts of warmth, a gift that doesn't require any money nor too much effort, and are precious little gifts. Friends and family alike, a hug is more powerful than a thousand words. I visit my grandparents almost every week, cuz like I mentioned earlier, all old people like to have their grandchildren and children by their side, even if it's for a short while. Moreover, time doesn't wait for anyone, don't wait till the moment when regret kicks in. When regret starts kicking in, it's probably too late. So, don't wait if you can.


Wow... unknowingly, I've written so much again... I could go on and on... but I'm tired so I shall continue some other time cuz my random thoughts never end, they simply spiral off into something new. Co-relation? Uh-huh!

;P

"Uh-huh"

The Nine took a total of 17,526 photos on our trip in the states, which takes up a whooping 29.5GB in my computer's memory space. Impressive huh... All thanks to our narcissism and love and passion for photo-taking. Never mind the photo-taking skills, we just love to point and shoot, throwing in some technical details like differing the focus or changing it to B&W or sepia at times. What to do? Everywhere where you point your camera at is a worthy shot, recording a moment of your life in somewhere different. And you tend to do silly poses or do things you don't do back at home when you're overseas. So there goes, the rationale for the folder of more than ten thousand photos titled "United States of America 2008," accumulated over a period of one month.

"We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun..."
I just wanna add, "and the gleeful cold.."

I can't possibly load all the photos here, and I can't decide which to upload and which not cuz they're all precious moments. Therefore, I'm gonna upload the jumping photos by Gjump, in Oklahoma and Los Angeles, in this post.

Enjoy!

A photo fit to be an advertisement for Oklahoma City University! We were all wearing our school t-shirts too!


Outside The Oklahoman, a daily newspaper in Oklahoma, after a tour of their operations.


In the TV production studio


Outside the Mass Communications Building


Not to mention Gjump's manager, who takes care of all our bags when we do our photoshoot, Daryl, and our photographer, James, who's always behind the camera. Our manager takes the role of the photographer when our official photographer goes missing too.. Hahaha..


At the National Weather Station in Oklahoma


Outside Wal-mart, where a number of us spent a considerable sum at. ;)


On Mount Scott, Wichita Mountains. Beautiful scenery, refreshing air, uplifted moods...


The vast grassland in Wichita Mountains...breathe-taking


Steph kept hurting herself, this time she missed a step and hurt her ankle right right when we were preparing to jump. So our love for this girl made us pretend to jump together. *hugs*


At Indian City, a heritage place. It's a pity lots of cultural stuff are dissappearing cuz not all people preserve them like treasures and tend to forget their roots...


Outside our Petree College of Arts and Sciences


The Cheesecake Factory from L.A., in Oklahoma. One good meal with The Nine(minus one) before we head out for our final shopping spree in OKC.


We stayed here for three weeks, spent a big fee for this hotel, but it's really worth the price. The service, the breakfast (although almost the same every single day in the three weeks, I kind of got used to it and miss it badly now), the area, the company I had...
I miss it...


With Donnie, our favorite bus captain for the three weeks in Oklahoma, who always praises us and say we'll make Singapore proud (aww...), outside Marriot Residence Inn, before leaving for L.A.



Then we went on to L.A. after the three joyful and fruitful weeks in Oklahoma...


At Disneyland, the happiest place on earth!


Outside Pacific Park at Santa Monica beach


At Universal Studios!


At Universal Studios!



Note: I edited out the extra people in some of the photos cuz I don't like extra people in our supposedly perfect photos.. Hahaha...

Love y'all, my dears!

Suffocated

Please stop asking me what I plan to do after I graduate. Thanks.

I don't have much of an idea as of now.

I just feel suffocated, and I don't really know why. I get frustrated or irritated easily these days. The previous week it could have been pre-menstrual syndrome kicking in, then after that, post-menstrual syndrome continues the low spirits. But after that, I still feel the low spirits, I have no idea why.

But don't worry, I'm not suffering from depression, I still enjoy myself at times, smile like a fool when I watch TVXQ's videos, enjoy myself when I'm with people I love and like, trying hard to focus in class, have fun from playing SIMS, singing almost everyday at home, irritating my brother, playing with BearBear, and getting comfort from my smelly.

It's just that I cry at things that I usually don't get too emotional about previously. Like when I watched the movie "10 Promises to My Dog," tears poured uncontrollably when the doggie died. I tried really hard to not to sniff the mucus that follows the tears, and let the tears evaporate on its own until the movie ended. I knew a movie with a dog as the main lead of the movie will definitely get me crying when it dies, but I couldn't help it, the main lead was a golden retriever! My favourite speciies of dog - a very gorgeous and smart dog. Someone wanna buy me one? My two tortoises at home wouldn't mind some company. Gee...

I was looking out the window on the bus, like I always do. It suddenly dawned on me that besides falling asleep in the bus journeys, my eyes are usually glued to the cars passing by. And the thought of "if I had my own car..." never subsides through the years. Especially after I got my liscence, the desire only gets greater, much greater. Then it dawned on me that this habit of looking at the cars on the road must haven been cultivated since young cuz Daddy always ask me to count a certain color of the cars passing by when I complain of being bored on the journey to places.

Haven't drove Dad's car for 3 weeks already... Firstly, fuel prices are insane, so I can't ask Dad to let me drive around aimlessly. Then I usually can't wake up early enough to drive my brother and dad to the hawker centre at 10am. Secondly, driving with Dad beside me, supervising and eyeing my every move, is extremely stressful. And it doesn't help that my Dad is pretty impatient - all afraid that I might crash his car and hurt his insurance rebates, more importantly, endanger lives. Thirdly, if I managed to wake up early enough, I'm already hooked onto videos or games before they set off for brunch. Frankly, it's the second reason that's real, the rest, I figured, are simply excuses. I often escape from real problems. Really hate myself for that. Escaping from a problem only makes it snowball and escalate, waiting to explode. I know, but.. sigh.. I don't know. I seem to pick the wrong times to talk to my Dad. We either end up in an interesting and funny debate, or intense arguement. It's that extreme, we rarely make a conclusion of a topic without getting agitated about presenting our point of views first. These days, I learnt to just shut up when he starts rambling. It works very well if you just hold the anger in. When one doesn't continue the topic, the other will stop somehow. Only sometimes, agitation rushes up so fast that the brains haven't had time to send signals to stop the mouth from rambling some nonsense to spark more displeasure in the other. Oh well... shut up, just shut up, and he'll stop it. Say one less hurtful word, and save the day. It's okay.

"Confused" is no longer a suitable word to use.
"Emotional?" Yea, I guess so. Suddenly I figured my frustration is caused by my numerous wants which cannot be fulfilled. I hope they're not not ready to be fulfilled, and be realized one day which isn't too far. But I'm not doing anything to make that happen cuz of various reasons.

Class for Research Methodology is finally over. It's fortunate that we don't have to carry out the actual research, but just prepare a research proposal to hand in for grades as our post assignment. I guess it's the module itself, cuz the professor's good, that makes us restless in class and zone out every now and then during lectures. Sometimes when I zone out and the professor walks over and seemingly wana ask a question, I would nod slightly and look away, pretending to think, cuz I just zoned out and didn't hear what the professor asked. Sorry! It wasn't intentional, Prof!

Last module's almost over, except for three more tutorials. Then its exam on August 23, 2008 will mark our last hurdle towards our degree. And then, the question will start flooding in again. Like I said from the start, stop asking me already. I will naturally tell if I have an answer...

"Lonely.. I am so lonely, I've got nobody, I'm on my own~~ Woo~"
That's not entirely true for me, but it fits my mood pretty well.

My paragraphs don't really flow, cuz the fingers simply type what comes on my mind almost simultaneously. But who cares.

I think I should write on my blog more often and stop censoring so much information. It's making the pouring of my woes a little less easy. Writing my random thoughts is quite a good idea. Whether in my notebook, a word document, or on the blog. Anywhere's fine and sort of a relief. You write your thoughts down, and see them in a clearer view. Yup.

Just remember, when you feel the air around you thinning, walk away, and remember to breathe! Just breathe...