Please hang on...

I sat there alone, in my grandfather's ward, watching him struggling with every breath. We keep telling him to wait for Uncle Boon to come back, and he seems to respond somehow, giving a slight nod or letting out a soft noise, to let us know that he's still fighting on with all his might to see his son. Being alone in the room with just him is utterly depressing, my heart aches with every sight of him trying his best to breathe with the oxygen provided through the oxygen mask. My cousin said the amount of oxygen they're providing through the mask is already at the maximum of 15. My heart skips a beat when I don't hear anything, then pounds quickly again once I hear him breathing again, as if trying to make up for the missed beat.

My tears threaten to burst out of its boundaries any moment.

We stayed in the hospital fromm 2pm to 10pm+ today, trying to keep Grandpa company. I don't want him to wake up from his drowsy state and find no one beside him. I guess it'll feel quite horrible. I want to be by his side whenever I can, cuz I don't want any regrets. I grew up at my grandparents' place, so they practically brought me up until Primary 5 when I shifted back to stay with my parents. They brought me to school, took care of me, and gave me unconditional love. Of all the cousins, I think I stayed the longest with my grandparents. I don't know if that equates to how close I am to them or the love I have for them, I just know I love and cherish them very much. Many grandchildren these days cannot even communicate with their grandparents, but I'm proud to say I don't have a problem speaking to them, having spoken their dialect and growing up with their care. I enjoy their company, and I know they enjoy mine too. When I'm free after school, I would sometimes pop by their house and start rambling about my day, my friends, or anything under the sky, simply because I know grandparents enjoy their grandchildren's company, even if they can't communicate. At least I wouldn't have regrets on this part, cuz I made extra efforts to spend time with them. And I will continue to make more efforts accompanying my two grandmothers. It's a pity that many don't get to communicate with their grandparents, sometimes even parents. Why not make an effort today? You might not enjoy their company, but they'll definitely enjoy yours. And that's enough.

I had a hard time falling asleep last night, and I guess it'll be the same tonight. Every time I close my eyes, the images comes to mind, playing at its own rate right in front of my closed eyelids. It's unbearable, the pain and worry. I kept praying, and crying, and praying, that I lost count. The only thing I hope for now is that Grandpa is not feeling too much pain holding on, and that Uncle Boon would make it home in time. He would be taking his flight some hours later, arriving only 19 hours later. 19 hours may seem like a short time if you're not in a hurry, but these 2 days are of utmost importance for us.

Our entire family is praying hard, and I believe regardless of religions, the kind gods above will try their best to work their magic. I can't bear to let Grandpa go, but his body has gone through the toil over the decades and did its best serving its master well. I understand everything comes to an end one day, machines wear out, so do humans. This, I know, I knew long ago, but I guess I'll never be ready for it. Not this kind.

The doctor came in today, to inform us of what they'd done to help him recover, but the ailing body is not responding to the strongest medicine, and nothing much can be done except to provide the oxygen and keep Grandpa as comfortable as possible so that he's not in pain.

Please, let Grandpa hang on until he sees his son. That's all I ask for. I love you, KongKong. Always will. Please hang on for just a little more. Please...