What can I say?

My dad just scolded me. Haiz, hard day at work i guess. Think most of us here have experienced getting scolded even if you shut your mouth and quietly sit there. Parents no doubt have hard days at work. But what they dont know is the concern the children have for them too. It's a common thing that parents feel their children cannot be depended on and that they would place not much hopes on us. Like what my dad always says, he does not put too much hope in me in the future. He feels he would have to depend on himself.

It's really heart-wrenching to hear such things, especially from your beloved parents. They dont trust you, they dont think you're one whom they can depend on. It's really sad. As i type on, my tears start to well up in my eyes. I shall stop this topic here.

I think i'm a person who tends to cry very easily. I cry over little things, cry over small setback, cry over things which happened and that i initially never thought would happen in my life, cry at the mention of the death of my grandma's dog who grew up with me, cry the sight of stray dogs and cats wandering around and looking at me so endearingly, cry the sight of poor old people still selling tissues or collecting empty cans along the streets, cry over some scenes where people would never cry over, and cry when i get scolded by my dad.

I'm not always the smiling and happy-go-lucky me. I guess i tend to hide my feelings. Sometimes i feel like i'm facing the world with a mask. I wear different masks when i'm with different people. I wear different masks according to the people, surroundings and mood. I think i dont like the weaker side of me to be shown. Even when i cry or breakdown, i would close my room door and cry silently, careful not to let anyone hear me weep. My pillow which my grandma made for me and has been with me for 14 years has always been my only comfort item. Nowadays, the bear HuiMin gave me around 3 years ago as my birthday present has become the 2nd comfort item i have. When you feel there's no one else who knows you better, it warms your heart to see that your soft toys are always by your side.

My 14 year old pillow might be old and dirty, considered as "eeeee" by everyone, but it will always be my 'bestest bestest' friend all my life. All these might sound so childish, but it's true. Think back, your best friends or anyone close will bring you comfort, making you feel really better, you know they really do care about you, but nothing beats having a good cry, hugging your best soft toy or maybe pet dog or cat. After a good cry, you fall alseep and have a good rest. When you wake up the next day, all the sadness has faded away, you'll feel refreshed, as though nothing happened. Or, you might feel refreshed and brave, to face all the problems.

Haiz, i said i wanted to get to the next topic, but here i am, still stuck here.

Moving on, today was actually a rather good day. I shopped like nobody's business and enjoyed myself. I did not really spend like over hundreds or so, but my wallet certainly appeared a lot of times today.

Firstly, Yutang, Lipeng and I went to HuiJuan's school at NYP, to help her accumulate points by buying things and crediting the points for every item to her points system. I bought a Shiseido shampoo, a long-lost pen i couldnt find anywhere else, an Ezlink cover, a nail buffer-cum-pen and etc... Lipeng bought a cute-looking blusher, and Yutang bought a nice purple nail polish. All these cosmetic stuff were bought at Sasa at MYP. Great huh? But Sasa's stuff are not cheaper than outside, just that if you have friends who are on internship in school now, you can credit points to them. Saw huijuan's L***e at one of the shops, i think he looks better with his hair longer. Now his hairstyle looks as though he's some army guy. Gee..

Saw the "School belle and Beau" thingy filming at NYP. The school belle wasnt really pretty, the guy was ok, but could be better. Geez....what can i say? Anyway, remember to vote for huimin..haha...

Having beared with our hunger til nearly 2pm, we rushed to their food junction and ordered the Jap food huijuan recommended. It was rather worth it, considering it's at $3.50 for a set. Then we met Jolyn there. She walked past us without noticing. We called out to her when we finally put down our food and she came over and sat with us for a chit-chat. We chat about the YCSS people mostly, updating info.

When Jolyn left to go back to her friends, we started talking about some of the YCSS people who have changed. Haiz, some changed for the better, some for the worst. Why should she be controlled? Is being controlled that good? Does she think her friend really is good by controlling her? Doesnt she have a mind of her own? Why must she listen to that friend? As the observing party, i conclude on my part that her friend isnt good. Well, that's what i think. But if she thinks that it's perfectly alright and that she doesn't mind, so be it. Everyone has the freedom of choice. I have no right to interfere or what-so-ever. Please dont ask me who i'm refering to, if you understand, good, if you dont, it's most probably not refering to you. Haiz, why am i saying it here? I dont know, sometimes i'm confused at how i behave myself. Ridiculous me.

Well, went to watch Garfield at Causeway point after leaving NYP after our lunch. It had, like "13 going on 30", a simple story plot. The events are expected. Audiences already know what's gonna happen next, but what's good about the show is that it is rather funny. Loosen up and you'll find the jokes funny.

Forget about yourself being a DMC student, forget all your critisisms, forget how it can be better, forget about the bad ratings reviews gave(it's just 'crtical' comments from a few reporters from their professional point of view), just sit back and relax and watch the movie with no chains attached. This is defintely better than bombarding yourslef with thoughts like," this part of the editing is no good", "this story plot is so simple", " this movie isnt worth watching". Some of these kind of thoughts came to my mind initially, but if they were going to haunt me for the entire movie, i wouldnt be enjoying it. So, i threw away all these thoughts and watched the movie like a kid. This way, i enjoyed the movie much more, much much better. Highly recommended- not for all movies though, some movies really arent worth watching at all.

After the show, i brought home the Garfield bucket and tumbler like some average auntie would do. Who cares now? I like the bucket and tumbler and i'm just gonna bring them back. Oh no....i see the potential auntie in me 30 years down the road..geez.....

Anyway, til then......