家家有本难念的经

家家有本难念的经 (Every household has their own problems outsiders won't understand)

It's not an easy "scripture"(经) to read. Even if you're very close to your family members, there are bound to be frictions, conflicts, and difference in opinions, taking into account the generation gap as well. Point of views differ, but it takes an open heart and open mind to accommodate another opinion. True, you can try to convince me on your point of view, I can understand where you're coming from, but please, why not try to think from my point of view and try to understand me a little more?

Trained to look at an issue from many points of view from my education in the polytechnic to be a media person, I look at various things from a lot of different aspects, and I found the beauty of it. I could explore and find many different points of views, I could understand some, or find some disgusting, but it doesn't matter if I accept the other opinions cuz at least I'd tried to see it from a different angle. There's no need to put down my opinion or question like that. No one's entirely right, I'm just trying something different. You get agitated easily, even when I'm not even trying to agitate you at all. And when your fire's burning, you bring in many other non-related matters. I thought I learnt to shut up when I sense the slightest heat of your fire. But sometimes, the patience just run out. I know, everything you say or do, it's for my good. I know you love us, and want the best for us. I know you've given me a lot of freedom in many areas since young. I know you let me make many decisions on my own, even though there were some you didn't like. I know. But I just need you to give me more space for my opinions.

I'm not trying to impose my so called "modern day thinking" kind of opinions on you, I just tried to present to you different viewpoints that would make yourself less angry at other things or people, but you couldn't understand where I'm coming from, and splashed cold water at those thoughts. It doesn't help that she likes adding fuel to the fire in the battlefield. I know she's not as smart, and grew up overprotected by outstanding and overspoken siblings. I should have gotten used to it. Oh well.

I treasure our blood-related ties more than I seem to be on the exterior. Or rather, more than what you think. I just can't seem to be able to show it that much. You break my heart when you say you don't expect me to support you in your old age. I want to. Do I seem that unfilial? Stop saying that. I'm not heartless.

Don't say things that pollute our ties when you feel the anger rising. It's not worth it over little matters like that. Breathe.

Lastly, I still love you no matter what happens. The love for you all will never die, even if the physical body dies.

And I will make myself master the skill of shutting up my mouth and learn the art of it. It's not easy, cuz I wanted you to understand, but it seems to be better if I just listen, or pretend to understand even if I didn't.


The clock's ticking,
I'm always learning...