In Memory of Lao Ma

In Memory of Our Beloved Lao Ma

Tan Hong Cher
(1911-2005)


This is the last family group photo that i have with Lao Ma in it.


Lao Ma has left us for 6 days now. Last Monday morning at 2am, she quietly left us, leaving lots of wonderful memories for us to keep in our hearts.

Just last Wednesday, she was cremated.

Her wake started from last monday, all the way through wed, which was a short, simple, and peaceful one.

Doing away with a lot of customories which i initially thought would have, the hall had only some tables and chairs for the guests and us, a tables with two small bunches of flowers holding two candles, a picture of Lao Ma smiling happily and blissfully, some flowers by several kind-hearted people and organisations our family members work for, and lastly, Lao Ma herself, lying in the middle of the hall, allowing all her descendents and every guests to take a last look at her.

It was the first time i've seen a lifeless body. Unlike the fear i had predicted, i wanted to hold Lao Ma's hand and tell her i'm Ah Ching, that i'm there. When Grandpa walked over to see Lao Ma lying there lifelessly, he broke down. He cried so heartbroken-ly that my heart ached. It was the first, and hopefully the last time i see him that sad.

Gong Gong(Grandpa in Hokkien) had always portrayed a cheerful image before us. It was quite unexpected that he'll break down like that. Diana and I were shocked, and we both agreed that was a different side of Gong Gong.

We would chat and even laugh at certain things while we chatted at the wake, but everyone knew deep down in our hearts, there's a cut there.

"Very sad la, but Lao Ma's in heaven now lor." Cai Cai replied when Diana and I asked him.

On the last day of he wake, that is the day of the cremation, everyone went to the Singapore Casket earlier, in hope of having more time to look at Lao Ma for the last few times.

"Hao Hao come, come and take a look at Lao Ma for the last time."

"Next time still can see what." He replied, implying that we can still see her when we go to heaven next time.

True, but that'll be in like 70, 80, or even 90 years time?

How i wished the bus would never reached the Mandai Crematorium, how i wished Lao Ma could still be with us. How i wished...

Lao Ma turned into ashes, together with our flowers that we have placed into her coffin, along with our blessings. We wiped our tears, and moved on...

Tears have dried,
wounds have healed,
but the scar would always be there.
Life has to go on...

Lao Ma, you'll live in our hearts forever.

This are the photos that i have of Lao Ma taken digitally. How i regretted not taking any photos with Lao Ma on the day of Uncle's wedding, that could have been the last photo. I could have slapped myself for taking too many photos with the kids whom i still have a long way with and not with Lao Ma.

Regrets..regrets...

Anyway, here's our beloved Lao Ma when she was still with us...































I realised that's how little i have...

Well...

I believe Lao Ma will watch over all of us from up there with peace...